Surrounding yourself with good people is like having a personal cheer squad – it’s uplifting, supportive, and downright necessary for a healthy mind and a winning attitude. 

As a sports psychologist, I’ve seen firsthand how the company you keep can make or break your game, both on and off the field. 

Here’s the game plan to make sure you’re surrounded by the best team possible.

Step 1: Identify What ‘Good People’ Mean to You

First things first, what does a ‘good person’ look like to you?

It’s not just about finding people who are fun or popular. It’s about finding those who uplift, support, and challenge you in the right ways. 

Think about the qualities that matter to you – honesty, kindness, ambition, a great sense of humor? 

Jot these down.

They’re your personal scouting report.

The journey to surrounding yourself with good people starts with a clear vision of who these people are. 

It’s like setting up a dream team – you need to know the positions you want to fill and the qualities that make someone a star player in your life.

Reflect on Your Values and Goals

Think about your core values and long-term goals. 

Are you aiming for a healthier lifestyle, more positivity, professional success, or deeper emotional connections? 

The people you surround yourself with should ideally align with these aspirations. 

For instance, if you’re all about positivity, someone who’s a habitual downer might not make the cut.

Consider Different Roles People Play in Your Life

Just like in a sports team, different people can play different roles in your life. 

You might need a mentor figure, a cheerleader, a reality checker, or a workout buddy. 

Each role is important and contributes to different aspects of your well-being and growth.

Look for Qualities, Not Perfection

It’s important to remember that no one is perfect, and looking for flawless people is a game no one wins. 

Instead, focus on key qualities that are non-negotiable for you. 

Maybe it’s integrity, empathy, or a sense of adventure. These qualities are the foundation of healthy, supportive relationships.

Think About the Influence They Have on You

The people you surround yourself with often influence your thoughts, actions, and overall outlook on life. 

Consider the kind of influence you want around you. 

Do you want people who inspire you to be better, challenge your ideas constructively, and push you towards your goals?

Diversify Your Squad

Just like a well-rounded sports team, your personal squad should be diverse. 

Different perspectives, experiences, and personalities can enrich your life in unexpected ways. 

It’s about building a team that complements each other, and in turn, helps you grow in diverse aspects of life.

Set Your Boundaries

Identifying good people also means knowing what you won’t tolerate. 

Set clear boundaries for yourself – this might include things like negativity, toxicity, or disrespect. 

Recognize what drains your energy and commitment to avoid these elements in your relationships.

By refining your understanding of what ‘good people’ mean to you, you set the stage for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 

This clarity will guide you in choosing who to invest your time and energy in and who to maybe pass on. 

Remember, it’s your team, your rules!

Step 2: Audit Your Current Circle

Now that you have a list and are clearer on what good people look like to you, take a look at your current squad. 

Do they reflect the qualities you listed? 

It’s like analyzing a sports team – who’s helping you move towards victory, and who’s holding you back? 

This step requires brutal honesty, and it might be tough. 

But remember, you’re the coach of your life, and sometimes you need to make tough calls for the greater good.

Just like a sports team goes through a review to assess the strengths and weaknesses of its players, you need to evaluate the people in your life. 

This isn’t about judging your friends harshly. It’s about understanding how they fit into your life and whether they align with your goals and values.

Reflect on Your Interactions

Start by reflecting on your recent interactions with the people around you. 

How do you feel after spending time with each person? 

Are you generally uplifted, motivated, and positive, or do you often feel drained, negative, or unsupported? 

This emotional audit is crucial.

Like a coach analyzing game footage, look for patterns in your interactions that give you insights into the dynamics of your relationships.

Assess Mutual Support and Growth

Good relationships are a two-way street. 

Consider whether there is a healthy give-and-take in your relationships. 

Are you supporting each other’s goals and dreams? 

In a winning team, every player helps the others to grow and improve. If it feels one-sided, that’s a red flag.

Recognize Toxic Patterns

Be honest with yourself about any toxic patterns. 

These might include consistent negativity, lack of respect for your boundaries, manipulation, or any form of emotional or physical abuse. 

Just like a player who doesn’t play by the rules, these relationships can be harmful to your well-being.

Consider the Impact on Your Goals

Think about how each person impacts your personal goals. 

Are they supportive of your ambitions? 

Do they encourage you to be your best self? 

In sports, players who distract or detract from the team’s objectives usually need to be let go. Apply the same principle here.

Evaluate the Depth of Your Connections

Are your relationships superficial, or do they have depth? 

A good teammate doesn’t just show up for the game. They’re there for the practices, the locker room chats, and the tough times. 

Look for people who are willing to engage with you on a deeper level.

Don’t Rush the Process

This audit isn’t something that should be rushed. 

Take your time to really think about each relationship. 

Just like a coach takes time to evaluate their team, you should give yourself the space to think about each person and what they bring to your life.

Next Steps

Once you’ve completed your audit, you might identify relationships that need to be nurtured, some that need a conversation to realign expectations, and perhaps a few that are best to distance yourself from. 

Remember, this process is about building a team that helps you thrive, not just survive.

It’s a key step in ensuring that your personal ‘team’ is as strong and supportive as it can be.

Step 3: Be a Good Person Yourself

Here’s the secret sauce – be the kind of person you want to attract. 

Want more positive, ambitious friends? 

Showcase those traits yourself. 

It’s like in sports – you attract the energy you give off. 

If you’re positive, hardworking, and genuine, you’ll likely attract people with similar vibes.

In the world of sports psychology, we often talk about the power of leading by example. 

The same principle applies to building your personal network. 

If you want to be surrounded by good people, start by embodying the qualities you seek in others. 

It’s about setting the tone for the kind of relationships you want to have.

Embrace Self-Improvement

Continuously work on yourself. 

Like an athlete in training, focus on personal growth and self-improvement. 

Whether it’s developing new skills, working on your emotional intelligence, or simply cultivating kindness and empathy, these qualities will make you more attractive to like-minded people.

Display the Qualities You Admire

If honesty, loyalty, and positivity are qualities you value in others, make sure you’re also demonstrating them. 

Be the friend you would like to have. 

This authenticity attracts similar people and helps you connect with others on a deeper level.

Be a Supportive Friend

Just like a good teammate, be supportive. 

Celebrate your friends’ successes, be there for them during tough times, and offer help when needed. 

This builds a strong foundation for reciprocal support and deep, meaningful relationships.

Practice Good Communication

Communication is key in any relationship. 

Be open, honest, and respectful in your interactions. 

Just as a coach communicates effectively with their team, ensure that you’re clear in expressing your thoughts and feelings and equally good at listening.

Lead with Empathy

Empathy is a powerful tool. 

Try to understand things from others’ perspectives. 

This not only strengthens your relationships but also helps you grow as a person. 

It’s like understanding the different positions on a sports team – it gives you a better overall view of the game.

Maintain Integrity

Stick to your principles and values. 

Integrity is a trait that builds trust and respect, both of which are essential in any healthy relationship. 

Like a sports star with integrity, you’ll be respected and admired for standing by your values.

Be Open to Feedback

Just as athletes receive and work on feedback from their coaches, be open to constructive criticism from friends and family. 

This shows that you’re committed to self-improvement and value the opinions of those around you.

The Ripple Effect

Remember, your actions and attitude can have a ripple effect on your social circle. 

By being a good person, you not only improve yourself but also set a standard for the kind of people you want in your life. 

It’s about being the change you want to see in your social world. 

When you lead by example, you naturally attract and inspire others to do the same, creating a circle of good people around you.

Step 4: Expand Your Playing Field

Get out there and meet new people! Join clubs, attend social events, or volunteer. 

It’s like trying out different sports – you find what you’re good at and enjoy by giving different things a go. 

Be open to forming connections in the most unexpected places.

Just like an athlete trying different sports to find their niche, expanding your social circle requires stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring new environments. 

This is where you have the chance to meet a variety of people who can add different values, perspectives, and experiences to your life.

Join New Activities and Clubs

Think about your interests and hobbies. 

Joining clubs or groups related to these interests is a great way to meet like-minded individuals. 

Whether it’s a sports team, a book club, a cooking class, or a volunteer organization, these are places where you can connect with people who share your passions.

Attend Social Events

Don’t shy away from social gatherings, be it a friend’s party, a community event, or a professional networking session. 

These events are excellent opportunities to meet new people. 

Approach them with an open mind – every person you meet has the potential to bring something unique to your life.

Utilize Online Platforms

In today’s digital world, online communities and social media platforms can also be fruitful places to connect with others. 

Join forums, groups, or platforms that align with your interests. 

Be active in these communities, engage in discussions, and don’t hesitate to reach out to people who intrigue you.


Volunteering not only contributes to a good cause but also puts you in contact with other compassionate and caring individuals. 

It’s a win-win – you get to give back to the community and meet people with a shared sense of purpose.

Take Classes

Whether it’s a fitness class, an art workshop, or a cooking course, taking classes is a great way to learn new skills and meet people. 

This environment naturally fosters interaction and teamwork, making it easier to form new connections.

Be Open to Making Friends in Unexpected Places

Sometimes, the best relationships are formed in the most unexpected places.

Be open to striking up conversations in day-to-day situations – you never know where a simple “hello” at a coffee shop, park, or even in a grocery store aisle might lead.

Embrace Diversity

When expanding your social circle, embrace diversity. 

Seek to connect with people from different backgrounds, cultures, and walks of life. 

This not only broadens your perspective but also enriches your life experiences.

Be Patient and Genuine

Building meaningful connections takes time. 

Be patient in your interactions and genuine in your approach. 

Authenticity goes a long way in forming lasting relationships.

 Remember, it’s not about the number of friends you make, but the quality of the connections you forge.

By exploring new arenas and being open to meeting different kinds of people, you greatly increase your chances of finding individuals who resonate with your values and enrich your life. 

Think of it as scouting for the best players to add to your team – it’s an adventure that’s both exciting and rewarding.

Step 5: Trust Your Gut

Sometimes, you just know when someone is a good fit for your team. 

Trust that intuition.

It’s like a coach spotting a promising athlete – there’s often just a gut feeling that they’re right for the team. 

If someone makes you feel good about yourself, chances are they’re a keeper.

In sports psychology, we often talk about the ‘sixth sense’ athletes develop – an intuition that guides their decisions on the field. 

Similarly, when it comes to building your social circle, learning to trust your gut feeling is crucial. 

This intuitive sense can often tell you more about a person or a situation than a logical analysis can.

Listen to Your Inner Voice

Your intuition is that little voice inside your head, the gut feeling that gives you a sense of someone or something being right or wrong for you. 

Start paying attention to these feelings. If you feel at ease, happy, and energized around someone, it’s a good sign. 

Conversely, if you feel consistently uncomfortable, drained, or uneasy, your gut might be telling you something important.

Reflect on Past Experiences

Your past experiences can be a valuable guide. 

Think about times when you had a strong gut feeling about someone or a situation. 

How did it turn out? 

Reflecting on these instances can help you trust your intuition more in the future.

Don’t Ignore Red Flags

If you notice red flags in someone’s behavior – like dishonesty, lack of respect, or inconsistency – don’t ignore them. 

These are often clear indicators that something might not be right. 

Trusting your gut means listening to these warning signs.

Balance Intuition with Reason

While intuition is important, it should be balanced with reason. 

If you have a gut feeling about someone, ask yourself if there are observable facts or behaviors that support this feeling. 

This helps in making a more rounded judgment.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness practices like meditation can help you become more attuned to your intuition. 

They enable you to clear the mental clutter and listen to your inner voice more clearly.

Test the Waters

If you’re unsure about someone, give it some time. 

You don’t have to make instant decisions about people. 

Sometimes, your intuition becomes clearer as you get to know someone better.

Trust Yourself

Ultimately, trusting your gut is about trusting yourself. 

It’s acknowledging that you have the wisdom and insight to make good choices about the people you allow into your life. 

Just like a seasoned athlete trusts their instincts in a crucial moment of the game, trust yourself when it comes to choosing your companions.

The Power of Intuition

In the journey of surrounding yourself with good people, your intuition is a powerful tool. 

It can steer you towards individuals who enrich your life and away from those who detract from it. 

By honing and trusting your intuition, you empower yourself to make decisions that are in your best interest. 

Remember, no one knows you better than you know yourself. 

Trusting your gut is an act of self-trust and self-respect.

Step 6: Cultivate and Nurture Relationships

Good relationships need care and attention. 

Be there for your friends, and don’t be afraid to lean on them when you need to. 

It’s a two-way street. 

Just like in sports, teamwork makes the dream work.

Once you have surrounded yourself with good people, the next crucial step is to cultivate and nurture these relationships. 

Like a garden, relationships require care, attention, and nourishment to thrive. 

This step is about investing time and effort to strengthen the bonds you’ve formed.

Regular Communication

Stay in touch regularly. 

This doesn’t mean you need to communicate daily, but checking in regularly helps keep the connection alive.

 Whether it’s a quick text, a phone call, or meeting up, consistent communication is key.

Quality Time

Spend quality time together. 

Engage in activities that you both enjoy. 

This can be anything from a shared hobby, a workout session, or simply grabbing coffee together. 

These moments are crucial for deepening your bond.

Show Appreciation

Express gratitude and appreciation. 

Let them know how much you value their presence in your life. 

A simple thank you, a thoughtful gesture, or acknowledging their achievements can go a long way.

Be Supportive

Be there for them in both good and bad times. 

Offer your support, be an active listener, and provide help when needed. 

Just like a teammate supports another during a challenging game, be there for your friends when they need you.

Respect Boundaries

Understand and respect each other’s boundaries. 

Healthy relationships require space and independence. 

Respect their time, opinions, and personal space, and expect the same in return.

Resolve Conflicts Constructively

Disagreements are natural, but how you handle them matters. 

Approach conflicts with a mindset of resolution. 

Communicate openly, listen to their perspective, and work together to find a solution.

Celebrate Each Other’s Successes

Be each other’s cheerleaders. 

Celebrate their achievements and milestones. 

This not only strengthens the bond but also creates a positive and supportive environment.

Be Open and Honest

Honesty is the foundation of trust. 

Be open about your feelings and thoughts. 

If there are issues or concerns, discuss them openly rather than letting them fester.

Foster Mutual Growth

Encourage each other to grow and improve. 

Share knowledge, experiences, and insights. 

Just like athletes who train together to improve, help each other to reach personal goals.

Remember the Small Things

Sometimes, it’s the little things that matter most. 

Remembering birthdays, asking about their day, or just sending a message to say you’re thinking of them can make a big difference.

The Long Game

Building and maintaining relationships is a long-term commitment. 

It requires effort, patience, and understanding. 

But the rewards are immense. 

Strong relationships provide support, joy, and a sense of belonging. 

They enhance your life and contribute to your personal and emotional growth.

By actively nurturing your relationships, you not only maintain a strong support system but also contribute to a network of trust, respect, and mutual care. 

It’s about creating a team where everyone feels valued, understood, and connected. 

Remember, the strength of your relationships often defines the quality of your life.

Why It’s Important

Surrounding yourself with good people isn’t just about feeling happy and supported. It’s about personal growth. 

In sports psychology, we talk a lot about the environment’s role in an athlete’s development. 

The same goes for life. 

Good people challenge you, push you out of your comfort zone, and cheer you on. 

They can be the difference between a good day and a bad one, a win or a loss.

How to Know They’re Good People

It’s in the little things – they listen, they’re consistent, and they show up for you. 

They celebrate your wins and help you learn from your losses. 

It’s like a reliable teammate – you know you can count on them when it counts.

Good People Examples

Think about some of the great sports teams. 

What makes them successful isn’t just their physical skill, but their chemistry and mutual support. 

They’re there for each other, through wins, losses, and everything in between. 

Now, apply that to your life. 

Your ‘team’ doesn’t have to be athletes – they just have to have your back.

So, there you have it – your playbook for surrounding yourself with good people. 

Remember, it’s a journey, not a sprint. 

Take your time, be intentional, and don’t be afraid to make some roster changes along the way. 

Your personal cheer squad is out there – go find them!


In conclusion, surrounding yourself with good people is akin to assembling a championship-winning team. 

Each step, from identifying what ‘good people’ mean to you, to auditing your current circle, embodying the qualities you admire, expanding your horizons, trusting your intuition, and nurturing these relationships, plays a critical role in enriching your life. 

It’s a journey that requires patience, introspection, and a proactive approach. 

But remember, the reward is a supportive, inspiring, and nurturing circle that propels you towards personal and professional greatness.

As you embark on this journey, remember that you’re not alone. 

If you’re seeking more personalized guidance and strategies to achieve high performance with ease, I invite you to join our Success Stories Community

As a sports psychologist, I understand the dynamics of team building and personal growth. 

In our community, you’ll get one-on-one support tailored to your unique goals and challenges. 

It’s an opportunity to learn from someone who’s not only studied the theory but has seen it in action with athletes and individuals striving for peak performance.

In the Success Stories Community, we don’t just talk about theories.We create success stories, and I’d be honored to help write yours. 

You’ll gain insights, tools, and techniques that are practical, effective, and tailored to your life. 

Plus, you’ll be part of a community that cheers for each other, providing that extra layer of motivation and support.

So, if you’re ready to elevate your game, to surround yourself with a team that champions your success, and to unlock your true potential, sign up for the Success Stories Community today. 

Let’s work together to transform your dreams into reality, effortlessly!

Remember, high performance isn’t just for athletes. 

It’s for anyone who’s ready to excel in their own life’s game. 

Let’s get started on your journey to success!